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remember those days back in high school when all you ever though about was being accepted, popular, and wondering whether boys liked you.

each day revolved around popularity and acceptance.

you never worried about what you ate, especially way back when… πŸ™‚

waking up:

each morning when I lived at my parents, we were served a bagel with cream cheese, OJ and for most of my life whole milk yes, WHOLE milk until my sister and I talked my parents into getting 2 percent milk.Β  If it was not bagels it was probably some kind of granola or muesli…

we NEVER had sugar cereal in our house.. and I don’t think I have ever even tried Fruit Loops or anything of the sort.

Another breakfast option was a half of a grape fruit or on weekends maybe pancakes/waffles.

off to school…

Lunch:

When I was younger my parents packed my lunch every day.

It was generally made up of PB & J on whole wheat bread and some snacks (remember zebra cakes, or oatmeal pies?) along with Capri Sun. (those were our lunch treats.. and generally not allowed in the house other wise)

Just because my parents packed my lunch does NOT mean that I ate it.

A lot of the time I was so embarrassed about my whole wheat bread that I would throw out my lunch and get a school lunch.

This may be chicken nuggets with honey, pizza, pasta bar (the best thing), salad bar, or maybe even taco bar depending on the day.

They were definitely not the best lunches.

Dinner

dinner at home was generally pretty healthy.

my parents made a lot of vegetarian options including tofu which I hated, or spaghetti, fish, or chicken.

I never liked steak or ham.

my mom always made salads along with dinner and veggies.

my dad was more of the unhealthy influence

he often made peroigies sauted with onions

he loved his ice cream, specifically Ben and Jerry’s

many nights we had ice cream after dinner..if my mom permitted it.

I was not fat but at one point i do remember being weighed and my mom told me that i weighed just as much as her.

i did not like that.

i was pretty active.

i played soccer when I was younger and also took dance classes for a while.

in middle school i played both soccer and field hockey, until i went into high school where i had to choose between the two.

i choose field hockey.

this meant pre-season with 2-3 a days and long after school practices and weekend games.

this is actually a picture from college field hockey. i am wearing the red shorts (not the one with track on the but!)

i also joined the track team during my freshman year and did the hurdles.

i loved running but hated my coach, so that did not last.

instead during the off season i began to work out at the gym with my boyfriend and still my boyfriend πŸ™‚

my friend and I would go and run on the TR or do the elliptical.

we did some weights but very minimal because that was not girly!

It helped that i had pretty crazy training programs for the summer to prep for field hockey season.

I got in pretty good shape over my last 2 years of high school. i loved my new body and was proud of the work the i put into it.

this is the point in time when i really became obsessed with working out.

college

transition to college:

no limitations, no parents, alcohol, all you can eat.

i loved eating what i wanted and due to my schedule of classes, i had most of the day off on fridays resulting in watching TV and eating popcorn and other snacks, for hours at a time until it was time to get ready and go out.

20+ pound over the first year.. grosss.

i came home and my parents were really worried,

since i had always been skinny.

i went to the doctor who recommended that i go see a nutritionist.

she helped me portion out food and evaluate what food choices could be improved.

i began getting up early to run every day.

i went to the gym.

i stopped drinking a lot.

i also joined the field hockey team.

i changed my eating habits and became really aware.

*source

i continue to follow these rules.

i still need some help with portion control especially following some points in my life where i struggled with becoming too strict with my eating and other points where i would eat so much and force my self to throw up.Β  i also took laxatives which was not pretty and very painful.

everyday i still wonder what i will eat, how it will affect my body, whether it is a good food or a bad food.

Really there is not good or bad food, but it is really based off how much you eat those good/bad foods.

it is all about portions and a balance rather than good or bad.

remember chocolate is good!

it is better to balance foods rather than be obsessed.

i continue to work on this struggle.

but i am working, i am trying, and i continue to learn about myself through out this.

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